Month: March 2022

28/03/22 Boule practice adventuring.

I am tired, Mum is tired. The respite home is closed due to covid outbreaks, with no real idea of when Dad can go back. So no showering in peace, no reflexology for Mum since Dad thinks that if Mum closes her eyes she might be dead. Keep going.

Dad is getting worse by the day too. It took him a while to work out how to put his gloves on today. The word motif on the gloves go on the top of the hand, and I make sure he has the right glove for the correct hand. Somehow he turns his hand around so the words are underneath, the thumb is in the wrong place, so he swaps hands, turns the gloves to face the correct way up, and then can’t work out were the thumb goes. We try again. This time we have

“lost a finger”

or rather have two fingers in the same finger space. Try again!

On Sunday we have a boule practice at the Bowling Green. He was captain, has played, and won in France. Been on the Derbyshire Dales boule league committee. And can play fairly well too. He is not sure. Firstly we were going to walk.

“its a long way, am I not walking”

So we go in the car. Shoes on, Coat on, Gloves on, Hat on. We get down to the car.

“I want to go to the toilet”

Reverse the process and start again!

You can’t be in a hurry to go anywhere, may as well enjoy the sunshine.

The Bowling Green we get the boule out, settle Dad on a chair with a blanket. Try him on a bitter shandy. He is not sure about that. As his anxiety tablet starts to work, he relaxes and remembers that he use to play. Maybe he could have a go. He needs encouragement to stand on the round mat. He holds the boule expertly, and reads where he had engraved his name on the boules. Eventually he had a go. A bit shaky, but then it is our first go for about 2 years!

Thanks Team for helping and letting us join in!

He gets into the games, clapping if someone has a good shot. Every now and again he has a go. Then he want to know when we are going home. For those who have played against Mum, you will be glad to know that she won both her games, and is planning to try and get to league matches at home, Dad permitting. Dad might watch, or he might be doing more important things like jigsaws.

Adventures with a “off Duty” mind.

Its been a while since I wrote anything, I am sure you will agree its been a scary and crazy few weeks. Dad has visited Eastern Europe many times, we don’t think he has very quite made it to Ukraine. However Poland, Lithuania, Romania and I think Solvina were all walking destinations. Mum and Dad even got a foot into Belarus! We were on holiday in Poland near the Białowieża Forest World Heritage site, on the border between Poland and Belarus. Mum and Dad decided to have a walk along a track, they knew they were near the boarder and did have a good map. After a while of seeing no one, a soldier with a large gun suddenly appeared from no where, spoke to them in what they though was Russian, pointed at them and then the footpath with his gun. He was making it very clear they were to turn around and go back, very quickly, the way they came!

On the same holiday we were staying at a hotel/hostel that had a large bus group coming, the owners of the hotel were very, very apologetic as we had to move out. However they have found us this lovely family to stay with. It was a large family of at least 3 generations. Water coming from a well in the garden. We had a fabulous few days there, Anna the daughter spoke so many languages and she took us to many places in the area that we would have never of found otherwise.

Dad kept in contact. He organised many walking holidays with Anna as guide and translator. We were also able to repay her hospitably when she and her husband came to visit Britain.

Mum as had to be very careful with watching the TV. We are not sure that he knows what’s happening. Only once has he asked

“Are we safe here”

and he has once put his shoes on for no really reason and wandered round the house.

We have been keeping Dad busy with his favourite things, ice cream and cake, tea, and fire, with the occasional jigsaw too.

Over half term we had lunch at the blue lagoon café at the stone centre. To earn his sandwiches we walked Dad along the trail to the first incline. For a Man that has lead walks all over Europe, this walk seems like the hardest yet! He held my hand for most of the way, mumbling away to himself. This mumbling is new, having listened very carefully, it is just mumbling, he seems content enough. It was on the walk that he told me that his

“head isn’t working properly, its gone off duty”

“Thats OK Dad, my head is on duty so we are able to go to the café.”

He seemed happy with that so we went to the stone centre blue lagoon café. It was nicely busy, and Dad had lots to take in and watch. When the surrounding are noisy, Dad tends to go quiet. There is a big link between deafness and dementia, and Dads hearing has certainty got worse too. Worrying about his hearing aids has become a hobby, Mum and I have had to learn how to change the batteries and clean the aids out. However you could see his pale blue eyes darting about looking at everything and everyone.

The food came, we learnt that hot pork sandwiches are too chewy. Swallowing for vascular dementia suffers can become problematic, so we do have to be careful to make foods easy, there may come a time when we need to mash everything. Dad does like cheese and onion though, after a swap round of orders everyone was happy.

After eating, Dad started another one of his past times, sign reading. Walking can take a while sometimes, if we have to read every poster and sign Dad passes. This time it was posters and then the toilet sign. That created a problem. Toilet trips are eventful, and sometimes a bit tricky. Mum and I had to work out if he had just read the sign, and then toilet was in his mind, or if we had a situation. Since my house is only 5 minutes walk away (or 10 mins at Dad pace) Dad decided he would rather go to my loo!

Last weekend I made Sunday roast lamb dinner, again we made Dad deserve his food, by having a walk to Steeple Grange light railway.

 Dad is looking forward to being able to have a ride on the locomotives again.

Mondays are Mums massage days with in Cromford. Dad couldn’t go to his daycentre this week because they have had a covid positive test. This meant that I had to look after Dad without Mum, this is always difficult and involving lots of anxiety.

I dropped Mum off, Dad and I watched from the car as she disappeared into the treatment room. He was not sure about this. I had planned having an ice cream and duck feeding down at Cromford Canal to distract him. I think this worked for about 10 minutes. The ice cream was popular with Dad. Not much to worry about

“Do we have money to pay for this”

“yes Dad look I have the money”

“is that enough?”

“Yes”

“Are you sure?”

I got the blanket out of the car, Dad got ice cream everywhere. The ducks got fed mealy worms, then the questions about Mum started.

“is she on her own? Where is she? Will she be alright? Has she got her car? What if she gets lost? Where is she? Can we go to find her now? How will she find us? Has she got a car?”

The worry and questions go on and on and on.

I try a walk to the big tree, and we have to pass a notice board which involves reading all the posters.

The questions start again, including the

“She is my wife you know.” and the “please can we go to find her”

In the end we just have to get back in the car. We are early and it is all I can do to keep Dad in the car and stop him from knocking on random doors to find her! He is so anxious that he doesn’t notice that she has appeared until she opens the car door. Then, its like a miracle, all worry and questions stop. He is happily telling her about the ice cream and ducks and canal

We Have had many trips to Winster shop and Wirksworth Tuesday Market too. As long as we don’t watch the news, life might be exhausting for everyone else, but Dad is happy.